The Six Gears

Which gear is your kid stuck in?

Six gears between a kid who gets caught and a kid who doesn't. Most are stuck in second or third — and have been for years. Here's the whole road: what your child works on at each gear, and what you do.

Why gears, and not age

Speed isn't one skill. It's a chain, and the links only fire in one order.

Posture unlocks push off. Push off creates height. Height gives the foot time to land underneath the body instead of out in front. And a foot landing underneath means the next push off is bigger again.

Which means a kid who can't hold posture will never get push off — no matter how many times you tell them to run faster. They're not lacking effort. The next link in the chain hasn't been built yet.

That's not a slow kid. That's a misfire.

There are six gears. Most kids I see are stuck in second or third, and have been for years, because nobody ever told them which link was missing.

How to use this: read down until you hit the one that makes you go "oh — that's them." That's the gear. Don't skip ahead. The gears above won't hold until this one does.

You're here if

  • Heavy on their feet — you can hear them coming
  • Runs like they're carrying something
  • Head down, eyes on the ground
  • Gets caught from behind by kids who aren't quicker
  • Sore shins or knees after games

What's actually happening

There's no base underneath them. They're folding at the hips instead of standing tall through the middle, and their eyes are pointed at their own feet, which drags the whole body down with them. Ask them to stand on one leg and they'll be off it in four seconds.

Everything else in the chain sits on top of this. You can't build an engine on a chassis that's collapsing.

Confidence connection — Trust through instability. A kid who can't stay stable in their body braces against anything uncertain.

The kid's job

Balance and posture. Single-leg holds, every day, both legs. And learning what drawing the bow feels like — a straight line from ankles to head, eyes on the horizon, not the ground.

The parent's job

Stop coaching the outcome. For the next fortnight, don't say faster, don't say try harder, don't say good job. Describe what you see instead: "You held that for eleven seconds. Last week it was four." That's it. Description over evaluation. It'll feel like you're doing less — you're actually doing the thing that works, because a kid can argue with your praise. They can't argue with a number.

You've shifted when30-second single-leg hold on both legs, and they can hold the bow through a 30m run without their eyes dropping.

You're here if

  • Loses the first two steps every time
  • Fine over a long run, beaten over five metres
  • Hesitates — there's a half-beat before they go
  • Coach says "he's got a good motor," but he's never first to a loose ball
  • Stands up tall at the start instead of getting out

What's actually happening

They're bending forward from the hips to start, which puts the brakes on before they've taken a step. Acceleration comes from leaning from the ankles — falling forward and catching yourself with your feet. Bending at the hips looks like effort and produces nothing.

There's usually a second thing going on underneath it: they're waiting to be sure before they commit. The body has learned that going early and being wrong feels worse than going late and being safe.

Confidence connection — Embracing risk. Leaning into a challenge instead of bracing against it. The lean is literally that skill, in physical form.

The kid's job

Acceleration. Leaning from the ankles, and making the first three steps go forward instead of up.

The parent's job

Let them be bad at it in front of you. This is the gear where kids get self-conscious — the drills look silly and they'll fall over. So do them yourself, badly, out loud: "This is harder than it looks. Let me try shifting my weight." A kid who watches a parent struggle and keep going learns something no amount of encouragement can teach them. You're not modelling competence. You're modelling staying in it.

You've shifted whenFirst three steps go forward with no hesitation, and the lean comes from the ankles — you'll see the whole body angled, not folded.

You're here if

  • Runs out of legs in the last ten metres
  • Feet stay low — no knee height, no air
  • Looks busy but doesn't cover ground
  • The quicker kids seem to take fewer steps, not more
  • Second half of games, they disappear

What's actually happening

Small push off, small returns. Their foot is stuck on the ground too long and the back leg never fully extends, so every step gives back less than it should. Speed isn't leg speed — it's how hard you push into the ground and how much the ground gives you back.

This is the most common breakthrough and the biggest single jump I see. When push off arrives, kids stop shuffling and start bounding. You'll see it from the sideline the same week.

Confidence connection — Creating momentum. Generating their own power instead of waiting to be carried.

The kid's job

Push off, and height. Skipping — properly, for height, not for speed — is the fastest lever there is here. Improve the skip and you improve the run, no end.

The parent's job

Learn what to do when they want to quit. This gear is genuinely hard, and it's the one kids bail on. Your instinct will be to rescue ("that's fine, we'll stop") or to push ("come on, one more"). Both end it. What works is four steps: name what you see ("you're frustrated"), ask what happened ("what did that one feel like?"), let the silence sit, then hand it back ("what do you want to try?"). Rescuing teaches them hard things should be avoided. Pushing teaches them the point is your approval. Neither one builds anything.

You've shifted whenVisible knee height and air time. Bounding, not shuffling. They can skip for height over ten metres and land under control.

You're here if

  • Noisy runner — you can hear the feet slapping
  • Heel hits first, out in front of them
  • Sore shins and knees, especially on hard grounds
  • Quick early, slower in the second half
  • Looks like they're braking with every step

What's actually happening

The foot is landing in front of the centre of mass, which means every single step applies a small brake. Fifty steps, fifty brakes. That's where the second half goes.

Here's the part most people get wrong: you don't fix this by telling them to land differently. Heel strike is a symptom of not enough height. Once gear three arrives, the foot gets time to land underneath the body on its own. So if you're here and you skipped gear three, go back. Forcing the landing directly makes it worse, and usually makes them sore.

Confidence connection — Meeting impact. Handling a hard thing with flexible strength instead of stiffening against it.

The kid's job

Foot strike — mostly indirectly. Keep building height. Then a flat, quiet, tripod landing under the body.

The parent's job

Get comfortable with slow. This gear resolves as a consequence, not a command, which means you'll do a fortnight of work with nothing visible to show for it. Parents quit here more often than kids do. The measure you want isn't "is it fixed" — it's "is it quieter than last month." Progress you can hear.

You've shifted whenQuieter footfall. Foot landing under the body, not out in front. No post-game shin complaints.

You're here if

  • Brilliant in the backyard, disappears when it counts
  • Arms swing across the body instead of driving back
  • Falls apart when they're tired or under pressure
  • You've thought "it's a confidence thing" — and been half right
  • They're capable of it. You've seen it. It just isn't there when the whistle goes

What's actually happening

Two things. The arms are throwing energy sideways instead of driving it back, which costs speed and — more importantly — costs rhythm. And there's no cadence to fall back on. No default rhythm the body returns to when the thinking brain gets loud.

That's the game day gap. Under pressure kids don't lose ability, they lose access to it. A rhythm the body owns is the thing they can find their way back to when everything else goes.

Confidence connection — Finding flow. Moving through a complicated moment without having to think your way through it.

The kid's job

Arms and cadence. Elbows driving straight back, not across. Then holding a rhythm at speed — dictating it, rather than being dragged along by it.

The parent's job

Presence, not pressure. This is the sideline gear, and it's where you can undo seven weeks in a two-minute car ride. Before every session, set the intention: I'm here to be with my child, not to improve my child. On the way home, don't lead with how it went. Kids read the first question you ask as the thing you actually care about — so make the first question one they can't fail.

You've shifted whenThe rhythm holds when they're tired. Arms driving back, not across. And at least one game where the training version of them turned up.

You're here if

  • They self-correct without being told
  • They ask for the harder version
  • They've started using it somewhere that has nothing to do with sport
  • "I can't" has turned into "not yet"
  • They coach someone else — a sibling, a mate — without being asked

What's actually happening

The skills have stopped being separate. They're not thinking about posture and then push off, they're just moving. And because they now have first-hand, undeniable proof that they can build something hard, it starts leaking into everywhere else. Putting a hand up in class. Handling a knockback. Trying something new without a negotiation first.

This is the whole point. Everything before it was scaffolding.

Confidence connection — Integration. It stops being something they do and becomes something they are.

The kid's job

Teach it. Explaining a drill to someone else locks it in harder than doing it a hundred more times. And set their own goal — one they chose, not one you assigned.

The parent's job

Name the transfer, then plan the next block. Kids don't make the connection on their own — you have to say it out loud: "Where else this week did you have to stay balanced when things were wobbling?" Then write down what happens next: what you keep doing, how often, what you add, and what you'll do when it wobbles. Because it will wobble. Confidence isn't a thing you finish. It's a thing you maintain.

You've shifted whenYou catch yourself watching a kid you don't quite recognise.

Where they're sitting

Take the road with you

Send it to yourself as a PDF, plus the one-page parent card for the gear you're in — the exact words to use, and the ones to stop using.

One email with the PDF, then a few on how the gears actually get built. Leave whenever you like.